BOOK NOTES

The book resonates with this idea: there is good in us, and it does good for us. For example, helping others through their stress helps us. Donating money can feel as good as eating chocolate. And yet cynicism is creeping in today. Consider that in 1972, 50% of people surveyed said most people can be trusted. By 2018, the number in the same survey said 33%. Congressional trust has dropped from 42 to 7, the Presidency 52 to 23, and public schools from 58 to 28. We’ve had a run on the social bank. Where trust declines, cynicism rises. And dozens of studies show cynics suffer more depression, drink more, earn less money, and even die younger.

Cynicism is a spectrum not a fixed position. We all have cynical moments, maybe even years. It does tune people into what’s wrong or it’s folding every hand in poker before you play it. The remedy? HOPE. Hope is a response to problems, not an evasion of them. Optimism is hope practiced. Optimism tells us things will get better while hope says they could get better. Hope is an accurate response to the best data available. Think of cynicism as a dirty pair of glasses more of us put on each year. A disease of social health.

Cynicism is the theory that people are largely selfish, greedy, and dishonest. Consider this experiment: Participants are given $30 as investors. They are told they can give a stranger (called trustee) as much of the 30 as they want. Whatever amount they give to the trustee will be tripled. So, if you give 10, the trustee will have 30. If they give back 15, you both make 15. How much would you give? Economists have used this game for years to measure trust. The choices we make reveal the theories we live by. Cynics believe people will keep the money and run. The truth is trustees pay back 80% of the time. High trust communities lap low trust ones on many dimensions like happiness, physical health, salary, etc.

THE WISDOM OF HOPE

If cynicism were a pill, it would have on its warning label…depression, heart disease, and isolation. If we had, Zaki argues, a humanity trial Trusters would represent the defense. Cynics work for the prosecution explaining away any kindness. It’s okay, he suggests, employing the wonderful tool of skepticism which questions old wisdom and hunger for more information.

Human beings are products of their surroundings. Studies find that people grow kinder or crueler based on their circumstances. Cynics aren’t born—they are made. Trust binds people and communities. To help yourself thrive, stop counting. Humans need unquantifiable experiences pursued for their own sake. Think about why you are giving, not what you will get back. Studies again confirm that people who think the world is dangerous and competitive versus safe and cooperative were LESS satisfied and successful in their careers.

In 2009, the Toronto Star ran a social experiment. Their staff dropped 20 wallets around the city with money and a business card. How many were returned? How about this question: did more people donate to charity, volunteer, or help strangers more, less, or about the same pre-pandemic or pandemic?

Now, for answers. In Toronto, 16 or 80% of the wallets were returned. Even when this experiment was conducted with 17,000 lost wallets across 40 countries…most were brought back with rates as high as 80% in several countries. An annual global survey revealed that during the pandemic….volunteering, donating, and helping strangers increased. People tend to guess differently based on our negativity bias. That is, we are more likely to pay more attention to the negative things around us. For example, if an article has a negative headline, we are more likely to read it. Modern media is a cynicism machine. Yet, evidence supports…at their core…humans are good.

Maya Angelou noted, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” But what they show you depends on who you are. Our own trust shapes how we respond. Trust remains the most powerful in long relationships. Hemingway observed, “the best way to find out if you can trust someone is to trust them.” Turning up the dial on trust, including turning down cynicism can produce amazing results.

Helping others is a gift we give ourselves. Consider Microsoft in 2014. Its value has dropped, Apple was out competing it, and a business writer wrote an article with this title: Why You Don't Want to be the Microsoft CEO. The culture was described as backstabbing, mistrusting, and full of greedy people who sacrificed vision over short-term profits. Five days after the article was published, the new CEO Satya Nadella took over. He quickly with others created a culture of collaboration. They ended zero sum rankings of employees and increased interdependence among employees. They received trust by giving it first. Nadella unwound cynicism by treating people like he wanted them to be, not the ones to fear. His “trust loudly” paid off for the company in competitiveness and profits eventually.

We engage in our own false polarizations. For example, members of both political parties imagine they are more extreme than they are. It’s like this experiment…scientists asked two strangers to tap each other’s hand. The first one started and then the other was to tap back with the same force. If they were accurate, the force of their blows would have stayed constant. But it escalated because each felt their tap had been harder than it was and they reciprocated. On average, each tap was 40% stronger than the last one.

THE FUTURE OF HOPE

Robert Putnam, noted author, suggests “the challenge for us is not to grieve over social change but to guide it.” Two emotional forces drive collective action according to researchers who examined the data around the topic. (1) Righteous anger at injustice, and (2) Efficacy…the sense they can do something about it.

Efficacy without anger leaves us complacent. Anger without efficacy leaves us cynical. Neither inspires action but together they can form the alloy of social change. Changes may look like miracles but they’re more math. Scientists found that when 25% of people consistently champion a position or idea, it is more likely to catch fire.

And, of course, the thread that ties solving problems together is trust. If people have rules imposed on them and don’t trust the process, they will cheat. But when people have faith in one another, they will invest in a future together. People aren’t born to hate. Kindness, cooperation, and care are a return to who we are.

FINAL STRONG RESEARCH FINDINGS

(1) Trust has been in the decline worldwide. Trust also is self-fulfilling. When we trust others, they are more likely to act in trustworthy ways. (2) Experiences of betrayal can lead to mistrust and adversity can have positive effects. (3) People have a natural inclination to focus on the negative. (4) Loneliness has deleterious effects on both physical and mental health. (5) When faced with the problem of commons in real life, people often find ways to cooperate rather than act selfishly.

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing, New York City, NY, 2024